06 May 2011

a card for my brother

My brother and I have a strange kind of relationship, if you can call it that. We grew up in a dysfunctional home where there wasn't much emotional connection between any of us. As adults, he and I never see each other though we only live about 30 miles apart.

I wish we were more connected --- I have always looked up to him with a sense of awe. He is so good at so many things, and has so many interests . . . . hunting, fishing, motorcycling, leading boy scouts on adventures. He is in fact, awesome!

I masked the edge of the deer to paint the background washes.

But our relationship, or lack of one, simply is what it is. A few years ago, I started sending him hand-painted birthday cards, just to see his reaction. He's never said anything to me, but I think he likes getting them. A sort of secret connection between us --- like when we were young kids left home alone while Mom was at work and we made homemade biscuits together.

7 comments:

  1. I can so relate with what you've shared here in several ways. I'm sure your brother appreciates the thought and time you put into creating these cards you send him. What a lovely card too!!! Love how the background turned out making this fellow stand out.

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  2. Thanks for sharing your story and I love your painting, I bet your brother loves it

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  3. I wonder why it is that we don't appreciate people like brothers until we are grown --- when it seems in many ways to be "too late"?

    I am "estranged" from our father also, who was not there for either of us growing up. But every now and then I get a random e-mail from him. I live in hope that these e-mails or my painted cards to my brother will open up relationships sometime in the future.

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  4. Aaah, your post touched my heart SO... many of us are in the same boat and it somehow seems to be in insurmountable problem... But I'm sure he really does appreciate your cards, keep it up, life's too short to to sweat the small stuff.

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  5. I guess art is a tool that can bring hope to family situations like ours, and maybe open future doors to true understanding.

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  6. I had a similar thing with my Grandfather. He was a very domineering character whose 15 children treated him with a Victorian respectfulness to his face and bitched about him constantly behind his back. I started sending him hand drawn cards when I was 15 and never heard a word from him about them for maybe 10 years. Then for my 25th birthday I got a letter from him, 6 pages long, telling me how much he loved the cards, critiquing, very gently, my artwork and a small cheque to get some watercolour tubes he recommended. He died about 3 years later but during that time we swapped cards and letters on a regular basis. My own dad was stunned when I showed him the letters a few years later, it showed him his own father in a light he'd never seen.

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  7. What a wonderful story, Peter! One that gives hope to many of us with similar relationships. Thanks so much for posting this!

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